


Towel Day Zaphod Beeblebrox x Reader Drabbles

by rockwell_psycho



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Genre: Arguing, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drabble Collection, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fight Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Scars, Smut, Tenderness, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 19:55:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18999421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockwell_psycho/pseuds/rockwell_psycho
Summary: For Towel Day 2019 I suggested my followers on tumblr to request Zaphod x Reader drabbles.I got 4 requests. Here they are.The drabbles are mostly fluffy, but the last one is smutty so I rate it as Mature.





	1. Questionable Fashion Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”
> 
> Takes place before The Hitchhiker’s Guide movie events. The Earth isn’t destroyed yet.

You took a deep breath looking at yourself in the mirror again, then looked at your watch. Zaphod was late and this fact didn’t make you any calmer. Actually you’ve never been that nervous introducing your boyfriends to your parents… On the other hand you’ve never dated a guy from another planet before, so you had all the rights to be nervous.

You’ve met Zaphod Beeblebrox a few months ago at a party. You came there with your now ex-boyfriend and you had a huge fight. Your first intention was to leave the party as soon as possible, but then you decided that this asshole doesn’t deserve your spoiled mood. “I’ll have fun anyways!” – You said to yourself, took a couple of drinks and went straight to the dancefloor. As you were dancing, someone’s hand lay on your shoulder.

\- Hey there. Need a company?

You looked at the guy. He seemed… Weird. Kinda too colorful and eccentric: he was wearing a purple coat, a shimmery shirt, his scarf was super bright as well. He had long blond locks, perfectly white teeth, and his smile was adorably charming, his green eyes looked so mischievously you just couldn’t help but smile back.

\- Sure!

The weirdo turned out to be a great dancer; you had a lot of fun and ended up leaving the dancefloor for a hot make-out session on the balcony. You didn’t really expect him to call you when you gave him your number, but after a couple of days he did and you met again. And again. That’s how it all started.

Eventually you’ve learnt that Zaphod wasn’t really from Earth, and that you actually were dating the president of the Galaxy all this time. Craziness! But after your first shock you decided you could live with it. Yes, your boyfriend was weird, he was a narcissistic ass at times and it drove you mad. But he never failed to make you smile and you loved him for that. And you had no doubts your parents were gonna love his charm as well. Zaphod could make a great impression on almost anyone if he really wanted to. But you still were nervous as hell.

Finally your doorbell rang and you rushed to the door.

\- Hey, baby doll! - Zaphod beamed at you and you smiled back, leaning in to kiss him.

\- You look gorgeous, - he continued with a wink. - Shall we go before it’s late?

\- Yeah, sure. I’ll just grab my ba… - you suddenly stopped mod-sentence as you finally noticed what he was wearing.

Zaphod had a shirt that seemed to radiate all colors of rainbow, a pair of silvery shorts with blue stars on them and a belt with a big buckle. His shoes reminded you of cowboy boots, except they were pink. He also had his favorite red scarf and big sunglasses.

\- What’s that? - he frowned.  

**_\- You look…_ **

**_\- Beautiful, I know,_** \- he smirked, brushing a strand of blond hair from his face. ** _\- Can we move on?_**

\- Umm… Zaphod, you know I really appreciate your style and all, but it would be great if you at least put on some… Longer pants…

\- Huh? - He looked really confused. - What’s wrong with these? Thought you’re gonna love them…

\- I actually really do, - you admitted, thinking that his butt probably looks great in them. - But I don’t really think my parents would be impressed.

\- Oh… - Zaphod’s look saddened a bit. - Sorry, babe. I got a bit carried away and really didn’t think about your planet’s fashion… Look, we can get to some shop on our way and I’ll get new pants…

\- No, - you said decidedly, immediately remembering how much time shopping with Zaphod takes. - No, I have a better idea. Give me 5 minutes, I’ll change my outfit and we’ll tell my parents we took part in a disco flashmob and didn’t have time to get changed afterwards.

\- What’s a flashmob? And what’s disco…

\- Nevermind, I’ll tell you along the way.

\- You sure?

\- Absolutely.

\- Great! - Zaphod gave you a happy grin. - So do you really like the shorts? I was thinking of you when picking them, - he smirked teasingly.

\- Aw, I’m flattered, - you laughed, kissing him quickly on the lips. - I’ll be right back.

Yeah, your parents would probably be a little bit shocked… But you were hoping Zaphod’s charm would win. And his butt really looked quite gorgeous.


	2. Best Way to Impress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know… fall in love with me.”
> 
> You got in trouble on Vogon planet, but Zaphod is here to heroically save you… Or not quite heroically.

\- You cannot stay on this planet. It is illegal. You don’t have any special permission.

\- Alright than, - you shrugged, looking at an ugly alien in front of you. - I’m not quite enjoying my stay anyways, so I can leave right now if you please.

\- I’m afraid it’s not possible.

\- Why?

\- Because you arrived on this planet illegally. We cannot just let you go.

\- So… What should I do?

\- Well, we can’t really say at the moment. Normally we would have to deport you, but your home planet is destroyed. Unfortunately our code doesn’t have any notes on what to do in such cases. For now you are going to stay under arrest for a while and then you will have to appear before court. It might take weeks, maybe months… The case is quite serious…

\- Oh come on! Are you kidding me! I’m here by mistake! - You were getting pretty nervous right now.

\- Sorry for that. Have a nice day, Ms. Y/n. Take her away.

***

When the prison cell door closed behind you, you sat on the floor leaning against the wall and hid your face in your palms. What the hell were you gonna do now?

You got to this stupid Vogon planet chasing some bastard who had stolen The Point of View Gun. Zaphod Beeblebrox needed it to get his second head back. Together with him, Ford, Arthur and Trillian you followed the thief up to this planet, where you, being unlucky as hell, got caught. You didn’t know what happened to your friends. Did they catch the thief? Did they got caught by the Vogons as well as you? Of course you were hoping they wouldn’t just leave you here and would come back for you. But what if something bad happened to them as well? You felt so small and lonely right now you were about to cry. And all this because of the goddamn gun Zaphod needed so much.  

You didn’t know how much time you exactly spent there thinking of your miserable destiny when suddenly the door opened and you saw Zaphod in front of you. He was holding a gun and was a bit short of breath. You’ve never expected to be so happy to see this dork again.

\- Zaphod! - You screamed, jumping up on your feet and rushing to him.

\- Y/n! Quick! Run away, I’ll hold them up!

\- Yeah… Okay… But will you be fine?

\- Don’t worry about me, run!

\- Okay, - you repeated. - Thank you so much, Zaphod!

You probably got too emotional after all these events, so you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Zaphod grinned at you happily. You nodded at him and rushed down the corridor. Oh hell… Where to run now? Suddenly you saw a Vogon and gasped, not knowing where to hide.

\- Good afternoon, Ms. Y/n, - the alien suddenly said. - Are you looking for a way out? It’s right there. Along this corridor, down the stairs and then turn right.

\- What? - You blinked. - Wh… Why are you not trying to arrest me?

\- Well, because you are free, obviously. The President signed up a special release form.

\- Huh? - You frowned. So it wasn’t a prison break? But why did Zaphod… Oh yes. Of course. This vain asshole just wanted to look like an amazing hero in your eyes. But in fact all he did was sign a couple of papers…

***

Later, in your quarters on board the Heart of Gold you finally relaxed on your bed when someone knocked on your door.

\- What do you want? - You asked in an annoyed tone as you saw Zaphod’s face again.

\- I uhh… Y/n, I kinda noticed… Are you a bit mad at me or something? I mean… I actually saved you today, you know… - he let out a usual small laugh of his.

\- Right, you did. But Zaphod, why did you have to put it like you fought everyone and rescued me like a goddamn superhero?

\- Wh… What do you mean? - He chuckled nervously.

\- Oh come on. I know you just signed some “release form” and they let me go, and all this “run, don’t worry about me!” thing you did was just a show-off. Right?

\- Uh… - Zaphod lowered his eyes. He looked pretty much like a guilty schoolboy right now.

\- Look, I don’t wanna seem ungrateful. I really appreciate the fact you guys returned for me. Thank you for that. But what I really don’t like is when someone is trying to fool me. What the hell was all this for? To feed your ego?

He paused for a second before answering.

\- Well, ** _I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know… Fall in love with me._**

At this he looked you in the eyes and you blinked stupidly at him.

\- Huh?..

\- Just wanted to impress you, - he shrugged with a suddenly shy smile you’ve never seen on his face before. - Yeah, that was a bit stupid, you’re right. Maybe I’ll be smarter once I get my head back… I just thought that would be more… Romantic.

\- Oh Zaphod… I really didn’t know you’ve got some… feelings for me… - you mumbled, your cheeks blushing.

\- I guess I do. I really like you, - he made a step towards you and smirked softly. - Do I have any chances?

Damn this man. How could he be such an arrogant, silly bastard and at the same time so disarmingly cute?.. Wait. Did you really like him back? Apparently so because this mischievous smile of his made things to you. Made you feel warmth in your chest and your heart beat a little faster…

\- Maybe, - you replied, smirking back at him. - Just remember, there are plenty of ways to impress me without lying or faking anything.

\- I think I know one.

At this you felt his hands on your waist, pulling you closer, as he leaned in, capturing your lips with his. The kiss was quite demanding, yet incredibly tender. His lips were soft, his beard tickled your skin, his breath was hot against your mouth, and all these sensations made you melt, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Apparently now Zaphod Beeblebrox found the best way to impress you, finally.


	3. Soft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”
> 
> You’re a space pirate. Like, you know, ravagers from Guardians of the Galaxy, but you mostly work alone for some reason. Occasionally you team up with Zaphod Beeblebrox to find and steal some artifact. For him it’s the usual “partly the curiosity, partly the sense of adventure, but mostly for the fame and money”, for you it’s just a job you get money for. The way to the artifact is not quite easy though.
> 
> There’s umm… sex which is about to happen :) and hints about the violence the reader’s been through before, but nothing explicit, overall the drabble is fluffy and comforting. So no warnings, I guess.

You stood in the shower with your eyes closed, enjoying warm streams of water on your skin. Today was quite rough: you and Beeblebrox had to get the electronic chip with the coordinates you needed to find the artifact you were searching for. All went well and according to the plan at first, but you weren’t the only people hunting for this expensive artifact.

Eventually you had to face another space pirates’ crew and got into fight. The situation was not amusing at all: only you, Zaphod and Marvin against them all, but you still managed to escape with the chip. Now you were aboard The Heart of Gold, there was no pursuit (apparently your enemies were too dumb to trace you), and you could finally relax.

You got out of the shower, wrapped a big warm towel around your frame and looked at yourself in the mirror. Yes, it was a hard day, but you were quite lucky. These guys could have killed you like dozen of times, but all you got were a couple of fresh bruises. Not too bad.

You heard a knock on the door and went to open it.

\- Oh! Hey uh… Did I bother you? - Zaphod asked, pointing at the towel around your body.

\- No, I’ve just finished. You wanted something?

\- Yeah, just wanted to discuss our plans for tomorrow. I put the chip here, - he showed you an electronic pad. - And I looked through it. I guess we have to get to Jaglan Beta but I’m not sure, take a look…

For a while you both were sitting on your bed, looking through the files and came to the conclusion that the artifact was just partly on Jaglan Beta planet near the Axel Nebula.

\- Zark’s sake, and where’s the rest of it? - Zaphod groaned.

\- I guess we’ll find the answer on Jaglan Beta, - you shrugged. - I think the most reasonable decision is to follow the coordinates. Heading there tomorrow morning. We need some good rest for now.

\- Yeah, right… Hey, that was a mess today, wasn’t it? But we did real good! We make a great team, right? - he winked at you, playfully punching your shoulder.

\- Yep, you know… I wasn’t really excited about working with you at first, Beeblebrox.

\- Huh? - Zaphod frowned. - Why’s that?

\- Well… I just thought you’re an arrogant fool who likes to show off, to be honest. Which is not really helpful. But surprisingly it turned out you’re better than that. I mean, you’re better in a fight than I expected. And in general… You’re a lot nicer than you may seem. It’s not the worst team-up in my life, - you smiled at him. - Sometimes it’s nice not to be alone.

\- That’s funny, - he chuckled. - I can tell the same about you, actually. You’re a lot nicer than you may seem.

\- Really?

\- Yep. You’re always so tough, but in reality you’re way softer…

\- With my job I’m not allowed to be soft, Zaphod. Sometimes life teaches you to be tough, - you sighed, lowering your eyes.

For a couple of minutes you were sitting in silence, you looking at your knees, him looking at you. You flinched a bit as his fingers brushed against your back. The fights you’ve been through left their marks, so there were quite a lot of scars on your body. The ones on your back were the most painful to remember about. It was from that time you were captured and enslaved. Fortunately you managed to escape and never got caught again, but they reminded you of your weakness, of how small and helpless you felt there, locked in a prison cell, and you didn’t like it.

\- What are you doing, Zaphod? - You asked, tensing as his fingers kept tracing the scars on your back. A part of you wanted to back off but at the same time you strangely enjoyed his touch.

**_\- Show me your scars._ **

**_\- But… why?_ **

**_\- I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there._ **

\- What? - A small, slightly nervous laugh escaped you. - Zaphod, I don’t really think you’d have been of any help if you were there with me these days.

\- Who knows? As you said I’m a better team-up than you expected… - Zaphod smirked softly before moving a little closer. - Maybe I can be helpful now, - he murmured.

At this you shivered, feeling his lips on your shoulderblade. The most reasonable thing to was to back off right now. Your relationship is just for business and nothing more. Business first. But… You just couldn’t move. Of course you weren’t saint. Occasional hook-ups did happen to you a few times. We all have needs. But you just realized it’s been ages since someone touched you with real affection. Maybe if he kissed your every scar you’d forget about the past you’ve been through? Life had taught you to be tough, but maybe it was time to allow yourself some softness? Just for now, just for one night. Didn’t you deserve it?..

Slowly, your hand reached the towel, letting it slide down your body. You turned to Zaphod, facing him. He looked a bit surprised, but his curious green eyes were already shimmering with lust. You cupped his cheek before leaning in.

\- Alright, Beeblebrox. Get over here.

He chuckled against your lips.

\- You’re gonna love this team-up. Promise.


	4. Not My Type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?” 
> 
> You are sick of Zaphod’s constant advances. What the hell, he’s not even your type! Yet you still feel attracted to him which pisses you off. 
> 
> Basically this drabble is just porn without plot a fight that eventually turns into lovemaking. Hence, warning: SMUT! Also Zaphod uses all his hands here so if it freaks you out… Yeah, I warned you :’D

\- Why the hell do you keep following me, Beeblebrox?! Which word from the phrase “I am not interested” you didn’t understand?

\- Come on, babe, I know you like me, why don’t you finally admit it? - Zaphod looked at you with a big perky grin on his face. 

You hated this cheeky look of his. Partly because he was so full of himself you wanted to punch him, and partly because it massively turned you on when he looked at you like this. You refused to admit it though. Just… No. Not Zaphod Beeblebrox. Falling for him would be the worst thing ever happened to you. This narcissistic idiot could only cause troubles… But there was something about him that made you feel some vibes. Common sense didn’t really work here and it irritated you. What the hell, you’ve never really liked cheeky blond guys! Why was he making you feel like that?

\- I like you? Pfff, - you huffed. - What made you think so?

\- You obviously were jealous when I flirted with those ladies in Milliways.

\- Jealous? Are you kidding me? I totally was not! - You protested.

\- Well, why are you so pissed than?

\- I’m pissed because you’re driving me mad with your advances, Zaphod. Will you please just leave me in peace? I don’t like you, deal with it. You’re absolutely not my type! I don’t like arrogant dudes who care about their appearance more than anything else. Got it?

\- I know what pisses you off so much, - Zaphod smirked coming closer to you. You stepped away from him and your back hit the wall.

\- It pisses you off that you’re attracted to me. Even though I’m “not your type” as you said. You still want me, and it drives you crazy.

He chuckled, showing a row of excellently white teeth. Damn. You knew he was right. But you still refused to surrender.

\- Bullshit.  ** _You have no power over me._** Absolutely.

**_\- You sure about that?_ **

Still smirking, he leaned in, and his lips crushed on yours. You groaned in protest and made a sweeping motion of your arm, trying to slap him, but he was faster. Catching your wrist, he pinned it against the wall above your head.

\- Nice try. Does it turn you on, baby?

You made another desperate attempt, but it only ended up with both your wrists pinned against the wall and him, smiling down at you.

\- That’s hot. Really. But seriously, y/n. Why don’t you stop lying to yourself? I can make you feel good and I’m pretty sure you know it. Why don’t you just relax and enjoy it?..

Even though he kept holding your wrists against the wall, his sparkling green eyes looked at you so softly it made your heart shrink for a moment.

\- Because… Because you’re totally not my type, told you… - you mumbled. - It’s never gonna work out anyways…

\- How do you know that if you didn’t even try, huh?

\- We’re way too different…

\- Someone told me opposites attract, - Zaphod purred, his fingers reaching your chin to tilt your face. He was so close you could feel his breath on your skin.

He kissed you again, and this time you gave in, marveling at the sudden tenderness of his lips. He was a good kisser, you couldn’t deny it. The way his tongue gently parted your lips, slipping inside your mouth sent shivers down your spine and made you moan softly.

\- Mm, that’s more like it, - he smiled contently, moving to the underside of your jaw and peppering it with kisses on his way to your neck, as his hand skimmed down your body. You wondered why it felt weird at first, but then you realized your wrists were still pinned. Zaphod’s hands slid from your wrists to your palms, his fingers lacing with yours while the third hand of his found its way under the skirt of your dress, stroking your thigh up and down.

You literally could feel how the blood rushed up your veins. Yes, he totally  _had_  power over you right now and it felt incredibly hot. Probably because of an unusual sensation or the sense of partial immobility… But your body was already on fire, with your wrists against the wall, his lips on your neck and his subtle fingers that finally reached your mound. You gasped, shuddering as he touched your clit, already tingling with anticipation. His sweet teasing caress made you a panting and writhing mess unable to think properly in no time.

\- Turn around, - he whispered, letting go of your hands. You were already about to explode so you obeyed eagerly, pressing your palms against the wall. Zaphod bent over you, kissing the back of your neck while unzipping your dress and unclasping your bra. As your breasts were finally released he instantly kneaded them, his thumbs flickering your hardened nipples.

\- Damn, Zaphod… Stop being such a tease! - you whined desperately.

\- Shhh… - He hushed softly, kissing your shoulderblade.

Next you discovered one more undoubted advantage of making love to a man with an additional hand: he had an opportunity to tug down your underwear and undo his own pants together at the same time - surely a useful thing when the yearning was becoming unbearable. Your back arched uncontrollably and you hissed biting your lips as his hard cock slid inside you smoothly.

The pleasure began to build rapidly in your core as his pace was fast and rough, his hands were back on your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers, and when the thumb of his third hand pressed against your swollen clit, you literally saw stars behind your eyelids. Your orgasm was long, intense and absolutely mind-shattering.

Completely out of breath, your legs shaking, you were trying to regain your composure while Zaphod held you with two hands, placing soft kisses on the back of your neck and stroking your belly with the third hand soothingly.

\- You okay? - He asked in a hoarse whisper when your breath was back to normal.

\- Yeah… Yes… That was… That was really… impressive, - you replied in a shaky voice, still feeling the blissful warmth from your climax.

\- Good. Because actually… I am not done yet…

\- Wh… What?

Your eyes widened as you realized he was still inside you and still hard.

\- That’s a normal thing for me, - Zaphod shrugged.

\- Wow… I just remembered that title in the newspaper article about you… “The Best Bang since the Big One”, right? Now I think I get what that meant…

\- I guess that’s who I am, - Beeblebrox chuckled. - Do you mind that?

\- Not at all… Just give me a minute, okay?

\- Sure, baby doll. Tell me when you’re ready, - he kissed your shoulder again.

\- Do you still think it’s not gonna work out, you and me?

\- Let’s talk about it later, after we finish, - you hushed, shifting a bit and turning your head to meet his tender lips with yours.


End file.
